“Now my soul is troubled, and what shall I say? ‘Father, save me from this hour’? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour.” (John 12:27, NIV)
Do you ever feel like your emotions are having conversations with each other?
I sure do. I can name the ones that LOVE to talk the most…..
Hurt. Disappointment. Fear. Anger. Disgust. Shame. And Sadness.
And in these moments, each emotion loves to add fuel to the flames as they speak to the other. Getting louder and louder in their dialect. Enraging the flames of the other. As more and more ammunition is being purchased by hostility from the other.
Yes, each emotion is desperate for a person’s ear. Even if that only person willing to listen is me, myself, and I.
So I sit too often, in these moments just listening to the recklessness going on in my soul. As my emotions are eager to whisper all about my torment within. They are each so desperate to converse with one another. Until each emotion is screaming at each other, and at me. And all this raging sets forth the perfect stage, for the people around me, to be attacked by all that is brewing deep-down inside.
But I continue on to listen even so….
I listen to them…. Tell me who did what wrong. And remind me over and over again of all the stuff I don’t want to think about.
And all this listening….. causes me to question why I’m still fighting for more Light where darkness continues to brew.
Then of course, I think…. I have failed again at being Christ-like, because Jesus never had such torment in His soul. But this thinking is wrong.
Jesus did have raw emotions. And He shared them with His Father.
Do you remember friend, the time when Jesus predicted His death? Do you remember the words He spoke?
“Now my soul is troubled, and what shall I say? ‘Father, save me from this hour’? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour.” (John 12:27)
My response to these Words…. Jesus’ Words…. is a response of HOPE!
I know I’m not alone with a troubled soul now. And you’re not alone either.
Yes, even Jesus, experienced trouble in His soul. When he knew what He was about to face. Betrayal. Pain. Heartache. And the weight of the world’s sin, as He hung on that cross.
Yes, friend! Indeed, His soul was troubled.
And what did He do, when He experienced this trouble?
He told His Father. And He didn’t let His emotions stand in the way of His Father’s Will.
So what are we to do, when we experience this trouble?
We’re to tell our Heavenly Father as well, and share with Him our raw and raging soul. And we’re not to let our emotions stand in the way of our Father’s Will. We’re to be obedient to His Word. And just simply delight in Him.
Have hope my friend, in the midst of your troubled soul. Because you know now, as I do, that even Jesus experienced such anguish. His soul was troubled, too. But He didn’t let this keep Him from His Father’s Will. The cross. Where love, justice, evil, and forgiveness collide. Converge. And grace and hope is found in Jesus Christ, our Savior.
God bless! Love you all!!
